news, satire, horoscopes, & attitude
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” –Hector Berlioz We are constantly told by lawyers, estate planners, the AARP, and other mountebanks that dying without a will is a thoughtless act of passive-aggressiveness toward our Read More
“Taylor Swift Courses Will Be Offered at Harvard, UC Berkeley, University of Florida” Roll over Will Shakespeare and tell John Milton the news. Seems like Taylor Swift “establishes complicated, changing relationships … to the idea of Americanness and to the Read More
After receiving millions of letters that were obviously not written by youngsters (who generally don’t use terms like “plausible deniability”) Santa Claus declared he won’t read AI-generated correspondence. Remember: He sees you when you paste an AI-generated stamp on your Read More
Although straws account for 0.025% of all plastic flowing into oceans, they are the virtue signal du jour for restaurateurs who replace them with paper models. Fight back. Take plastic straws to restaurants, replace those paper models, then stick the Read More
“Transgender Activists Attack Feminists Holding Event for Women’s Rights.” “We are in good spirits and remain undefeated,” wrote feminist author Lierre Keith from Portland, Oregon. “A mob of ‘antifa’ men pepper sprayed, punched, and kicked us, and stole our phones. We Read More
“What’s this $999.00 payment to NeverEndingWeb?” she asked. “That guarantees my new website won’t expire even when I do.” “Who’s gonna read it 100 years from now?” “Don’t know, but they’ll read exactly what I wrote.” “Sooner or later you’ll Read More
“Kelce” is among the top-trending dog names in the country—up 135% in a year—according to Rover, a Seattle-based matchmaker that connects pet owners with pet sitters and dog walkers. In addition people hung that name on other items: penises, vaginas, Read More
WCL: Megan Rapinoe, USWNT soccer player, said that her getting injured early in the final match of her career is “proof” that God doesn’t exist. GOD: Au contraire. That pink-haired freak suffers from anal-cranial inversion. Whom does she think caused Read More
The iPhone 15 carries a Fecal Finder™ app that detects fecal material as tiny as 1 part per 100,000,000. Some people check their email and texts while on the crapper; and if their left hand doesn’t know what their right Read More