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Once a year, on To Thine Own Self Be True Day, people attempt the impossible: being honest with themselves for more than seven consecutive seconds. This day honors the famously long-winded Polonius, who offered this advice moments before being used Read More
The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average Phish tune, in concert, added nearly two minutes around its middle, and personal pizzas got 25 percent larger. Go big or go home: The 11th Commandment Read More
Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, walker-swinging contest to see who can get to market first with a meaningful upgrade to the Original Whiners’ Meetup (OWM) app—a platform originally patterned after location-based social apps, only this one Read More
WEST GOSHEN TWP., PA–We take no small measure of joy in knowing there are people in the world quietly going about undoing the work done by others in god’s name. The Universal Brotherhood of the Confrontational Atheist (UBCA) is one Read More
Celiac disease affects 1 percent of normal Americans. When people with this inherited autoimmune disorder of the small intestine eat bread, pasta, muffins, or other foods containing gluten, their immune systems open up giant-economy-size cans of whup-ass on their persons. Read More
“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” –Hector Berlioz We are constantly told by lawyers, estate planners, the AARP, and other mountebanks that dying without a will is a thoughtless act of passive-aggressiveness toward our Read More
A critical shortfall of gravity brought on by the failed gravitational policies of the past is the greatest existential threat facing this country. The United States, which is home to 5 percent of the world’s population, consumes nearly 60 percent Read More