Lesson Plan for Substitute Language Arts Teacher
10:00 — Call class to order
10:02 — Call class to order, louder
10:04 — Caution students about cell phone use
10:06 — Activate cell phone blocker in top desk drawer
10:08 — Send first student complaining about connectivity to the disciplinarian
That’ll keep the bastards quiet for the period.
⚠️ Satire lives here. If you came looking for facts, bring your own.
If you came looking for medical, spiritual, or legal advice, try prayer.