news, satire, horoscopes, & attitude
Satirical news that skewers today’s headlines, exposing absurdity and hypocrisy one story at a time.
Alabama – Every “closed for repairs” sign is really code for “the possums are running again.”Alaska – Locals measure emotional intimacy by how many moose they let you complain in front of.Arizona – Every cactus has overheard at least one Read More
🗽 Welcome to a Satirical US Atlas—a cartographic fever dream. Fifty states, fifty fictional monuments, each more unhinged than the last. No SEO‑optimized travel tips, no real history, just a possum juggling chainsaws in Alabama and a ranch dressing geyser Read More
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has announced that it will feature the first ever Mormon cover model. The magazine, which has already paraded transwomen, old past-their-prime women (Martha Stewart) and the occasional plus-size pioneer, has decided that the time has come Read More
The household oracle was summoned with the wake up word, “Ziggy,” and as expected the familiar baritone began its dutiful recital of the morning temperature. Yet midway through the forecast, a curious duet emerged. The baritone yielded to a soprano, Read More
In a development that surprised no one except the sentient dictionary that judged the event, a local sixth-grader who is also an AI bot took first place at the Cedarvale Regional Spelling Bee on Saturday. Teachers described the victory as Read More
At long last, the federal government has unveiled the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program, a taxpayer-funded initiative designed to rescue itinerant evangelists from the perils of doorbell diplomacy. Decades of slammed doors, garden-hose ambushes, and irate Labradors have taken their toll Read More
Every November 3 (or whatever date looks least credible on a calendar), we pause to celebrate the eternal struggle between sound and sense: Book of Daze: Misheard Lyrics Day. On this special occasion, we honor the millions of people who Read More
