flash fiction, satire, horoscopes, & more
People tie yellow ribbons around your old oak tree–but you aren’t missing.
Objects in your rear view mirror are going faster than they appear to be.
Your computer keeps changing your passwords.
Telemarketers hang up on you when you answer the phone.
Your shadow tries to follow other people home
Author Rowan Knox, FKA Amanda Jette Knox, announced that he is now a trans man.
Knox had previously made headlines after his wife, who had been his husband for 19 years, came out as a trans woman
The couple are now in a polyamorous relationship with a fellow trans couple.
Whenever Louis and his wife sat on their balcony and smoke rings floated up from the balcony below, his wife “remembered” she had errands to run.
Louis suspected that “where there was smoke,” so one day when the rings appeared, he raced into the hallway and pulled the fire alarm.
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Love Actually, the Christmas classic, has been remade into a more diverse, inclusive, and equitable film.
Called Kawanzaa Actually, the remake features LGBTQIA++ folks and people of color.
“They get drunk and do silly things at Christmas, too,” said writer-director Richard Curtis.
“No longer is Christmas a white supremacist celebration.”
Quis scit? Foreskin relics appeared in numerous churches during the Middle Ages, sometimes simultaneously.
The Vatican eventually forbade anyone from discussing circumcision and removed its feast day from the church calendar. Nonetheless, a foreskin relic was stolen in Italy in 1984. Another was deemed fraudulent on Cash in the Attic.
As anybody with a classical education knows, decimate does not mean to crush, annihilate, destroy, wipe out, or knock your opponent’s dick in the dirt.
In Latin, from whence it sprang, Skippy, it means “to kill one in every ten of a group as a punishment for the entire group.”
In the encyclical Deus Own Noctis (God Owns the Night), Pope Francis warned that Catholics “can not seek refuge in sleep” in order to enjoy illicit sexual activities.
“God sees you when you’re sleeping,” declared the 86-year-old pope. “Any activity forbidden to waking Catholics is forbidden to sleeping persons, too.”
“That’s the difference between god and me,” Barney tried.
She didn’t react.
“Now if I were Roy Rogers, I’d sure enough be single.”
Again, she didn’t laugh. He feared he had lost her.
On his way to the bedroom, he said to her in his head, “Honey, where’s the gun?”
Wordplay exploiting different meanings of a word or differences between two words that sound alike but have different meanings.
“Owls are a real hoot.”
Often qualified by adding “no pun intended” or “pun intended.”
Don’t. If you didn’t intend a pun, choose another word. If you did, don’t advertise it.