Dawn
The rooster began crowing to beat hell at 5:00 a.m. It was the first sound that Tom heard. Half asleep he thought, “If you wake my old man again, you stupid chicken.”The “stupid chicken” crowed a second time, louder. The Read More
news, satire, horoscopes, & attitude
Some of today’s trend-chasing philosophers insist that everything about personal identity is negotiable, which raises an interesting possibility. Why stop at gender or personality types? Why shouldn’t age be fluid, too? Be creative. Think outside the calendar. Express your age Read More
Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the A-word, who was already halfway through a pitcher. “No way, I thought they were about Read More
A burning bush outside the Holy Tabernacle of the Flaming Tongues in Opp, Alabama, erupted with a warning: “I’m tired of saying yes to every loser with his putz in a wringer. Don’t write a check with your behavior you Read More
Thomas Hobson (1544–1631) owned a livery stable in Cambridge, England. Anyone seeking to rent a horse there had two choices: the horse nearest the stable door or no horse at all. A Hobson’s choice, therefore, is not really a choice Read More
Flush with anticipation, Vicky opened the door to greet her date, whom a friend had set her up with. There stood one pitiful, butt-ugly man. Chiding herself for being disappointed and shallow, Vicky determined to make the most of the Read More
A godlike presence whose eyes stare in judgement on a sinful world. A near-sighted sumbitch who doesn’t see eye-to-eye with anybody. A minor character with a non-speaking role in The Great Gatsby. A faded, weather-beaten occultist’s sign on a desolate Read More
“We’re encouraging customers to put their money where their mouths are, “said a Walmart executive in a muffled voice. “We’re betting CBD will succeed where mocha latte, pumpkin spice, and smoked salmon flavors failed to float Gen Z boats, as did Read More
1.AI-enhanced pleasure gadgets can now “learn your preferences,” or so the marketing teams claim, as if your living room suddenly needed a machine-learning minor. 2.Mix artificial intelligence with virtual and augmented reality and you get “immersive companionship simulations” so convincing Read More
“They don’t hoop any more, they’ve got no roll in their stroll. Hell, they were into the Jonas Freaking Brothers. Some days I worry that they take after my white half.”