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“Naked Man Found Atop Headless Mom in Jersey Shore Apartment.” Jeffrey D. Surgent, 46, had first called 911 to report his crime before assuming the position. As he was being taken into custody, he screamed that he was sorry for what he had done. He also sang “Jesus Loves Me.”
After being sued by thousands of women who allege that its hair-straightening products caused them irreparable harm and serious injury, including sterility, Revlon has offered its accusers an olive branch.
“By next fiscal year,” said Revlon, “our hair straighteners will carry warning labels advising against their use on pubic hair.”
WEST GOSHEN TWP., PA–We take no small measure of joy in knowing there are people in the world quietly going about undoing the work done by others in god’s name. The Universal Brotherhood of the Confrontational Atheist (UBCA) is one such group. We honor them by pausing to observe National Unbaptize the Dead Day.
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A housewife tired of cooking for her large family without any thanks, opened a pop-up restaurant in the family’s garage. It became so popular that her husband and children had to wait online to get their meals.
“That’ll teach them to be on time for dinner,” she laughed to herself.
Tim Berners-Lee, father of the world wide web, admitted that he misspelled “world wide” as one word when he created the web.
“If I could ‘fix’ anything about the web, the spelling of “worldwide” would be it. Sadly I wrote the web code when spelling checkers weren’t so very accurate.”
“A Francisco Prostitute Says He Killed Victim Who Realized He Is Transgender and Wanted Refund”
Leion Butler, 20, killed Hamza Walupupu, 32, after Walupupu had discovered Butler was transgender and wanted a refund following Mr. Butler’s oral ministrations..
Butler’s mother helped clean Walupupu’s vehicle and get rid of his belongings
Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age. Her fondness for frolic was something of an embarrassment to her father, Lord Seefeth, who was planning to invade England and sought the favor of god in that enterprise.
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Imagine you are a fourteen-year-old girl and you discover that your father wants to hook up with you because you resemble your late mother. You’ve unfriended him on Facebook and you ignore his sext messages, but you still suspect he may have installed a toilet cam in your bathroom.
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“Woman shot in butt after sliding into MRI machine with loaded firearm”
An unidentified Wisconsin woman was left with an extra pair of holes in her butt after she took a loaded firearm into an MRI machine during a doctor’s visit last June, according to Food and Drug Administration records.
Celiac disease affects 1 percent of normal Americans. When people with this inherited autoimmune disorder of the small intestine eat bread, pasta, muffins, or other foods containing gluten, their immune systems open up giant-economy-size cans of whup-ass on their persons. It isn’t pretty. It could be fatal. That’s why people with celiac follow diets completely free of gluten, a protein found in most grains.
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