news, satire, horoscopes, & attitude
The winner of the $10,000 first prize in Tyson Farm’s 2023 What Does That Remind You Of Contest is Laura Roberts, 43, of Bear, Delaware, who claimed the prize after finding a three-inch-long, phallus-shaped chicken tender in a family value Read More
Often confused with ironic by semi-literates. If you’re thinking about an old friend and you bump into that person somewhere, that’s not ironic, Skippy. It’s coincidental. If he says, “I’m going to Boston this weekend,” and you are, too, that’s Read More
WCL: Doesn’t it bother you to deprive a handicapped person of a parking space? CHEAT: No, not really. There are always tons of other handicapped spaces going empty in most lots. WCL: But what if there’s only one space left? Would Read More
Taylor Swift–most often appears on gluten-free wheat toast Joseph Biden–difficult to see because he always forgets to adjust the toaster
The Lord God’s Intelligent-Designers team is 1-3 this season. Hunter Biden, owner of the league-leading FamilyValues team, said that god, competing as DeAndre Danger, drafts too many marginal players only because they point to the sky after scoring a touchdown. Read More
He’s bitten Secret Service personnel eleven times. He’s in the Army now, and better off for it, says one observer. “That dog was bred to do a real job, not act as an emotional support animal for a doddering old Read More
“Hon, there’s something wrong with Alexa.” “Oh, Susan’s given her a man’s name and voice.” “So Alexa’s a male tranny now? “I suppose so.” “What are his pronouns?” “Very funny, Jim.” “Hold on. You think Susan’s trying to tell us Read More
Puppies, Free to Good Homes Home. “Hurry, Dad, they’ll be gone.” “No worries, Jason.” Just then the front door opened. A young boy holding a puppy emerged with his parents, followed by the home owner, who lifted the sign out Read More
“There were no signs of forced entry,” the investigating officer said. “No one locks their doors around here,” the dead woman’s husband replied. He burst into tears as the stretcher bearing his wife’s body was loaded into an ambulance. Then Read More