Flash

Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the A-word, who was already halfway through a pitcher. “No way, I thought they were about Read More

A burning bush outside the Holy Tabernacle of the Flaming Tongues in Opp, Alabama, erupted with a warning: “I’m tired of saying yes to every loser with his putz in a wringer. Don’t write a check with your behavior you Read More

Thomas Hobson (1544–1631) owned a livery stable in Cambridge, England. Anyone seeking to rent a horse there had two choices: the horse nearest the stable door or no horse at all. A Hobson’s choice, therefore, is not really a choice Read More

Flush with anticipation, Vicky opened the door to greet her date, whom  a friend had set her up with. There stood one pitiful, butt-ugly man. Chiding herself for being disappointed and shallow, Vicky determined to make the most of the Read More

A godlike presence whose eyes stare in judgement on a sinful world. A near-sighted sumbitch who doesn’t see eye-to-eye with anybody. A minor character with a non-speaking role in The Great Gatsby. A faded, weather-beaten occultist’s sign on a desolate Read More

“We’re encouraging customers to put their money where their mouths are, “said a Walmart executive in a muffled voice. “We’re betting CBD will succeed where mocha latte, pumpkin spice, and smoked salmon flavors failed to float Gen Z boats, as did Read More

1.AI-enhanced pleasure gadgets can now “learn your preferences,” or so the marketing teams claim, as if your living room suddenly needed a machine-learning minor. 2.Mix artificial intelligence with virtual and augmented reality and you get “immersive companionship simulations” so convincing Read More

“They don’t hoop any more, they’ve got no roll in their stroll. Hell, they were into the Jonas Freaking Brothers. Some days I worry that they take after my white half.”

A local man from Modena cannot understand why Facebook keeps suggesting “users with gravitationally significant profiles” as potential friends. “Does Facebook think I’m some kind of celebrity romance magnet?” he said. “Before I’d even think about dating someone I just Read More