news, satire, horoscopes, & attitude
Betty often went into a room and couldn’t remember why she had gone there. She had developed strategies for dealing with these situations, but nothing she tried today brought her purpose to mind, until she heard a loud, impatient voice. Read More
Two shots, then a scream. A figure races out of an alley. No one pays any mind. Minutes later a wounded man stumbles from the alley and falls onto the sidewalk. He, too, is ignored, except by a sympathetic young Read More
10:00 — Call class to order 10:02 — Call class to order, louder 10:04 — Caution students about cell phone use 10:06 — Activate cell phone blocker in top desk drawer 10:08 — Send first student complaining about connectivity to the Read More
A conservative is afraid that somebody, somewhere is having a good time without his approval. Conservatives don’t like anything to happen that hasn’t happened before. They want to take your money and give it to people richer than you are Read More
Time to start thinking outside the box. If life gives you lemons, why not make filet of sole with a lemon-wedge garnish? If the chickens come home to roost, get out the Shake ‘n’ Bake. Who cares for whom the Read More
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in it. If you care to, you can find calves and camels, cankerworms and cattle, cocks and colts, crickets and crocodiles, Read More
The overthrow of Roe v. Wade, according to many in the chatterverse, signaled a trampling of all that’s good and holy that will make Sherman’s March to the Sea look like a highway adoption program.
O.J. Simpson, claiming that he is “really innocent this time,” was booked Sunday evening on two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and one count each of armed burglary, conspiracy, and Read More
PHILADELPHIA–Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper started a conversation on race in America when he declared at a Kenny Chesney concert in June, “I will jump that fence and fight every nigger here, bro.” Mr. Cooper’s threat eventually went viral on Read More
Mel Gibson’s preoccupation with Jewish culture has landed him in the news again. Mr. Gibson, who recently checked into a rehabilitation center at an undisclosed location to undergo treatment for chronic alcoholism, somehow managed to place a call to The Rush Read More