Updates For Old White Man App Due from Apple, Google
These will include a cell phone blocker that can be set to activate whenever a cell phone rings within 50 feet; a prostate checker that sends a warning text whenever a prostate reading is elevated; a digital coupon good for 10% off at all McDonald’s; and a gray-panther pussy finder.
⚠️ Satire lives here. If you came looking for facts, bring your own.
If you came looking for medical, spiritual, or legal advice, try prayer.