Sordid Horoscopes
(X) Libra (9/23 – 10/23): Clothes and garden tools figure prominently in your future. Therefore, we recommend that you purchase our new book, The Seers’ Catalog. It contains dressing and cross-dressing advice and lawn-care techniques that wizards have used to gain wealth and prosperity for centuries. Better still, it contains discount coupons, a decoder ring, and easy-to-assemble 3-D glasses.
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