Dead On Arrival

Jeffrey, trying not to make a sound, stumbled into the sofa in the darkened living room.
Suddenly a small dog started barking insanely.
“Wait,” he thought, “we don’t have a dog.”
Then a light and a woman facing him with a gun.
“Wait,” he thought, “That is not my wife.”
⚠️ Satire lives here. If you came looking for facts, bring your own.
If you came looking for medical, spiritual, or legal advice, try prayer.