Mel Gibson’s Top Ten Signs the Cop Who Stopped You Is Jewish

Mel Gibson’s preoccupation with Jewish culture has landed him in the news again. Mr. Gibson, who recently checked into a rehabilitation center at an undisclosed location to undergo treatment for chronic alcoholism, somehow managed to place a call to The Rush Limbaugh Show yesterday.

Under the guise of explaining that his anti-Semitic remarks had been taken out of context when he was stopped for speeding last Friday, Mr. Gibson engaged in what appeared to be a rational discussion of anti-Semitism. He said he wanted to apologize again for his “horrific remarks,” then he said if he hadn’t been so drunk, he would have realized that James Mee, the Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputy who arrested him, was Jewish.

When Mr. Limbaugh asked how Mr. Gibson could have known that, Mr. Gibson quickly recited his Top Ten Signs the Cop Who Stopped You Is Jewish. Mr. Limbaugh, who was taking a sip of water when Mr. Gibson began his recitation, finally recovered his composure long enough to hit the mute button; but not before Mr. Gibson had cackled, “How’d ya like that, you fat-ass, Jew-loving, drug-addicted bastard?”

Mel Gibson’s Top Ten Signs the Cop Who Stopped You Is Jewish
10. Threatens to bomb your neighborhood after stopping you.

9. Acts surprised when you don’t haggle over amount of fine.

8. Hava Nagila ringtone on his beeper.

7. Mentions that he’s saving up for dental school.

6. Asks if you’ve seen Schindler’s List.

5. Writes “5767” in the “year” box on your ticket.

4. Demands to know if you’re Aryan.

3. Brags about his brother the doctor.

2. Tells you he could have bought your Rolex for “half of what you probably paid for it.”

1. Red Kabbalah string around his wrist.

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