Texas Limits Prisoners’ Last Meals to 1,200 Calories

“It’s never too late to begin healthy eating,” explained  prison dietician Dieter Volk. “A prisoner’s last meal should not constitute cruel and unusual punishment.”

Henceforth, all last meals will be portion controlled, light, and synergistically balanced.

“No one should eat a heavy meal before going to sleep,” added Mr. Volk.