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WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joseph R. Biden extended an unsteady hand to the gay and lesbian community last night when he announced that he was going to sign an executive order authorizing the creation of a $3 bill.
Big Fella,
Remember the mascot of the prep school we attended? The Great Auk, a large, extinct, flightless bird? Remind you of anyone you know?
The Great Auk became extinct when the last known specimen wandered into a bathroom and forgot what he went there for.
Happy birthday, Great Auk.
Taylor Swift–most often appears on gluten-free wheat toast
Joseph Biden–difficult to see because he always forgets to adjust the toaster
Willie Nelson–appears on untoasted bread if you’re really high
Queen Elizabeth II–popular among dementia sufferers, who often think she’s Betty White
You–thanks to the magic of the Selfie Toaster