Thursday, May 14, 2026
Flash

The War on Paper Straws

Although straws account for 0.025% of all plastic flowing into oceans, they are the virtue signal du jour for  restaurateurs who replace them with paper models.

Fight back. Take plastic straws to restaurants, replace those paper models, then stick the latter to the underside of the table with chewing gum.

⚠️ Satire lives here. If you came looking for facts, bring your own.
If you came looking for medical, spiritual, or legal advice, try prayer.